paintedpinkmountains

I’m a walking contradiction. I want to be alone – yet I want to connect. I want to be perfect – yet I know there is no such thing. I know myself so well – yet I have no clue who I really am. I am insanely happy – yet there are so many things I want to change. I want to run away – yet I want to keep my feet planted firmly here where the roots have been growing my whole life. I’m stronger than I ever felt possible – yet I’m completely sensitive and delicate. I know what my gut tells me is usually true – yet I continue to make myself vulnerable. I think so deeply I feel things much further than the depths of my core It’s hard to be such an emotional person And still guard my soul It’s a challenge to see people for who they really are When you constantly question their intentions I believe that our perceptions are typically based upon half-truths. People only allow you to see what they feel comfortable letting out. When you only have half of a picture it’s difficult to judge a situation fa...

I often feel as if I’m floating through life. Like, I’m going through all the motions, yet not really experiencing any of it. Whatever I may be doing at any given moment, my mind is in a million other moments. Constantly ahead of the next task, constantly thinking about the many struggles I have going on…..and mostly I’m thinking about how calm and free I will feel whenever I’m over all the struggles. I often think of the piece of writing that goes around in emails every once in a while; the one that tells us to ‘live now’ and not to wait until “the bills are paid off” or “the house remodeling is complete” and that there will always be something to keep us moving. And it is so true, and I know it is true, but I also know that I’ve been completely unable to stop and really live through everything I have on my plate right now. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a calm existence. It’s been many years since I’ve felt at peace with the things in my life (other than my children of course,...