where have i been?

it's been over six months since i've updated this poor, lonely blog, yet i've had it in my thoughts most of the time. i love to write. i love to put words to life. i have an increasing need to get my shit out in one way or another, but life doesn't always allow me the opportunity.

either way, i could go on and on about how busy i am right now, how busy i have been the past few months, the past many months, but it all boils down to the fact that i've come to many a conclusions where my life is concerned

i'm tired of my day job.
i'm tired of my commute.
i have no desire to sit behind a desk anymore.
i don't want to be a part of something that brings me misery anymore.
i want to do what brings me happiness.
i want to show my children that they can find happiness within themselves and move in life in a way that they choose.
i want them to see me do what brings me fulfillment.
i want them to know that whatever they want to do they can achieve.
i want to do what I want to do....and show my children that they can follow their dreams too.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Land of Blame and Judgment

That's us, and this is the main response I've seen to the unfortunate gorilla incident.  "It's the mothers' fault. She should have been watching her child better.  The zoo should have had more protective measures in place to keep this from happening."  All true. Perhaps. And my own initial reaction was "How did that child get down there?" But our initial reactions should have been more along the lines of: "That must have been really tough for that mother to go through.  I bet she was really scared." "It's really sad that the gorilla had to die." "It's good that the child is safe and okay." Instead, we respond with judgment.  Why did the mother allow this to happen?  We rush to place the blame and the first place that it goes is the one person who would need compassion and support the most in a situation like this.  How would any of us feel or react if it were our child? Oh yeah, of course it wouldn...
Read more

stuck

Image
I find myself at a crossroads, standing idly amongst the many options, feeling completely paralyzed and unable to focus. Each route enticing me with brightly colored, flashing billboards, touting their lists of glorious outcomes while the one road that I’m on flashes it’s own consistent sign warning me that those other outcomes are empty promises and that there is security in continuing to stay on route. I stand here, wanting so for the road that I’m on to suddenly build it’s own brightly lit billboard with all the wonderful things I’m wishing for it to contain. I’ve spent a long and quite frustrating time wishing these things to fruition and I’m pretty certain that most of these things are never going to appear on this road. I’m becoming more certain every day that this road will always contain the same depressing scenes with the same status-quo experiences and if I stay on this road I am certain to come to the end of it and look back in regret at the options that I’ve passed up. Life...
Read more

Died Peacefully at Home Surrounded by their Loving Family

I am certain that this is something that does happen, as I read it occasionally in the obituaries.  I am also aware that death in and of itself isn't something that usually holds an easily reached peace in most circumstances.  But as I sit here next to my mother, who is on her second day under hospice care and her 11th day fighting death, I realize that I can't remember a time that my family has been afforded the experience of the title of this blog post. My maternal grandfather died at the hospital, of congestive heart failure.  They had just called to tell us he was going to be released to come home.  Granted we knew he wasn't going to live very long, but he wanted to be at home and they were making that happen.  Shortly after hanging up the phone, he died there, alone, without family, in his hospital room. My paternal grandfather died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital after suffering a stroke as he waited outside the grocery store for my grandmot...
Read more