13 October 2010

imperfect


I’m late in joining Brene Brown’s weeklong “Perfect Protest”
http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2010/9/26/the-perfect-protest.html
but it’s something I need to do. For someone who spent too many years putting up with emotional abuse, I’m well aware of how imperfect I am. But I’m ready to embrace it. I’m ready to admit the many things that are “wrong” with me and say “who cares”. So here goes

I walk heavy. Amazing how such a short person can make such noise.
I haven’t washed my vehicle in over a year…possibly closer to two.
I allow my children to eat in the living room.
I sometimes forget about leftovers and produce in my fridge.
I have weeds growing up around my mailbox.
I often leave clothes laying around.
Sometimes I’ll pull laundry out of the dryer and it will sit in the basket for a few days.
I don’t brush my hair every day, and often just wash it and throw it up in mess on my head.
I change my mind a lot.
I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I worry, a lot.
My friends have many wonderful things to say about me, but I rarely believe them.
I’m not as strong as people think I am.
I’m about 35 pounds over weight.
I don’t exercise enough.
I sometimes leave the dishes in the sink.
I often take things personally.
I’m afraid of my feelings.
I edit myself even when I’m writing in my journal.
I have a hard time letting go of regrets.
I’ve written a few more things but hit the backspace key and decided to end here.

01 October 2010

early thirties


today i turn 34. this is, i guess, the last year i can officially say that i'm in my "early thirties". these last four years have gone by rather quickly and i can only imagine how fast the next four or so will go by.

i decided to follow the masses and create yet another seemingly popular list. 34 things to do before i'm 35. i have a "life list" which i think needs a little tweaking or adding, and i have the 101 things in 1001 days list....this one needs revamped as there are many life list things on it that aren't really feasible to do in 1001 days.

anyway, i'm heading towards digressing here, the 34 before 35 list....travel is a huge love of mine and there are so many places i want to see. it's really easy for me to want to add all these amazing places to every list i make, but in a year it's not likely i'll get to more than one or two of them, so i had to try to keep it realistic. and i still have about 10 items to add. i've tried to make it about personal growth; things that my soul wants to experience as she's a little neglected these days and needs to be pampered. when i finish the list i'll add it here, but for now, here's a little sneak peek :)

1. Learn to knit - i plan on buying a book and taking this task on under my own instruction. i've wanted to do this for quite some time, but just never made the time to do it.

2. get a regular yoga routine going - i've needed this for a long time. yoga does amazing things for me both physically and mentally but finding the time to incorporate even a 15 minute practice into my day has been challenging. i'm aiming for 3x a week.

3. take a ghost tour in Gettysburg - this has been on my to-do list for years too. and would require very little time and planning. no reason this can't be crossed off my list!

4. research my maternal grandmother's mother's side of the family tree - this is the side we have the least amount of info on but i have a lot of interest in discovering more.

5. polaroid - there are at least two of these floating around in the attic so if they work i'll be playing with those, if not i'll be purchasing one

6. buy a MAC - i've been wanting this for about 4 years. it's definitely going to happen now though. as soon as my upstairs is done being remodeled i'll have an office space to set this up so this won't be a tough one to cross off either.

7. spend a day in bed watching classic movies - i rarely ever take time to myself to just do nothing, and i've been really enjoying older movies lately. i finally got Rear Window and fell in love with it. also have picked up a few old Clint Eastwood westerns and have been swooning over those. i grew up with a lot of these movies. my mom was a huge Clint fan and my dad loved all the old westerns so this might be one thing that I cross off two or three times!

I think the biggest thing on my list, however, is to drive 101 in California. i've wanted to do this for as long as i can remember and it looks like it's going to finally happen. i've never been to the pacific coast and the original plan was to start somewhere around Seattle area and drive the entire way down to San Diego. not really feasible time-wise right now...someday perhaps. for now i will settle for a week with my good friend d in an rv from LA to San Francisco.

one more project for the coming year....i'm doing my own 365 photo project. starting today i'll be taking a photo-a-day. perhaps i'll use that to get me posting here more too.

About Me

My photo
40. mother. earth lover. mover. creater.