paintedpinkmountains

Life has been quite overwhelming lately. Physically, emotionally and mentally overwhelming. Each day I go from feeling content for a nanosecond to feeling a rush of grief, followed by moments of sadness alternating with a push to keep moving. One minute I'm functioning, completing what needs to be done, but within minutes I'm back to feeling lost. Another minute I'm entertaining my creative side only to be left feeling guilty for looking for happiness amongst the muck. It sounds crazy, and it feels like it too. I feel everything, but yet I don't know what to feel. And this would be the perfect time for me to write, but I can't seem to find the time to do it. I know that I should make time for my morning pages, but it's hard when everything I own is split up between three different residences. Sure the laptop is at one house, but the power cord is at another and which bag (in which house) did I put my journals in? Not to mention working full time (with

I spend every morning & afternoon commute listening to NPR on the radio. I read the local newspaper almost daily. I used to hear all the very sad stories of people's struggles and the very bad hands some are dealt in life, and I would wonder to myself "how do people deal with such tragedies? How must that pain feel? How can one move on & find happiness amongst such grief?" I now know answers to at least part of those questions, and I wish I didn't. This year has been the worst year of my life and it's not even halfway over. I started the year out with a sort of manic motivation to make this a really great year, a really productive year, a year where I would find myself on a path to a life that is full of fulfillment. Instead I've spent the past few months watching people I love dearly leave this life for reasons which I'll never understand. I've watched my family be touched by more pain than one should have to endure in such a short per