22 May 2017

Monday Morning Musings

I wonder how we would view ourselves if we were to actually see, in some tangible form, the things that we expend our energy on.  I imagine my day as a jar and at the end of the day it is full of all the things that I have spent my time on, and images of people I have spent my time with during the day.  Does my jar sparkle?  Does light emit from it like a firefly?  Or is it grey and mucky while the bright points are hidden inside beneath a cloud of fog?

What's in your jar?



19 May 2017

More Open


It's always there, you just have to look for it.  The opportunity to take a breath, to notice, to calm, to literally just *be*.

This moment is one that brings me calm every day.  It's a routine that we've become accustomed to.  Every time we drive past this spot, we stop and take a moment to say hello to our friends.  Occasionally they are on the other side of the field, and if we stop they will usually come right over.  There is a cow too, and he's become curious lately, but still a little apprehensive.

We allow the peace to enter.

We allow ourselves to slow down.

We allow the present moment in.

I've noticed how this moment makes me feel.  Most of the time we stop and at least one of the boys gets out to truly share space with them, but even when it's nothing more than a drive-by hello of sorts where we slow to a crawl and yell "Hello Friends!" or "Doooooonnkey!" out the window, this moment has been teaching me presence all along.  It's been probably two years that we have been doing this, but I make the time for it nearly every day now, and I feel the peace it brings me.

This is where the magic happens.  This is life.  This is the medicine that truly helps to heal me.

17 May 2017

Open


Nature is a bounty for life lessons, providing us with metaphors everywhere, if we are awake enough to see them.  The changing seasons each bring us "classes" of their own, that teach us patience, perseverance, strength, and vulnerability as we are continually given challenges in life that test what we learn.

I've never witnessed the poppy in this seemingly suspended state.  I've watched these beauties bloom every year for as long as I can remember, yet I seem to have only captured them in every other state. First, being completely held tight inside the safety of their pod; second, in full glorious bloom; or after, as they shed the paper-thin petals to the ground around them.

I've been thinking about boundaries and openness lately, and have been looking not only at how both are present in my own life, but also in where they could be improved upon.  In the past few years I have certainly become much more present in my world.  I pay much closer attention to how I react, the things that I make time for, the things I don't make time for, where I expend my energy to.  As a Libra it's always been a constant striving for balance, but after 40 years on this earth I'm finally coming to realize that there is no such thing as balance.  Balance doesn't exist because there will always be something taking the back burner while you focus your attention to something else.  And one thing will always get more time and attention than another.

The amount of time that this poppy spends giving us something beautiful to look at and admire is so short in the span of an entire year.  And at this moment she seems to hold steady, trying to muster all her strength to open up and be completely seen.  It's such a short moment, and you never see her turn back.  She doesn't open halfway up and then decide "Nah, I'm going back in my pod."  Nature always completes its' process.

Perhaps that's where feelings of being "stuck" come from.  Having things undone.
The things that are never said.  The things that are begun but never finished.  The things that finish before they even start.  The things that unravel and are left in the corner of the closet until we have the time (or energy) to pick it up again.  The things that we never open up enough to give our energy to.  Being open is being vulnerable.  And even though everything that blooms dies in the end, it still blooms. Even if it doesn't bloom quite perfectly, it still blooms.

Where can you bloom?


07 May 2017

In Bloom

This time of year is one that finds me taking random walks around my property multiple times a day.  Some mornings I walk outside with my dog and stare around in amazement at how my yard can seem to have transformed overnight.  My crocus were quite early this year, putting on their show in March and closing the curtain practically before April even came.  The daffodils lasted most of April and gave way to the lilacs that produced profusely this year.



My lilacs are my most beloved as they hold many memories from my entire lifetime here on this property.  One bush in particular I spent more than 15 hours freeing from debris and dead branches, while also very carefully pruning it where it asked me to. It has been there as long as I can remember and last year it was practically suffocated by poison ivy, which I'm horribly allergic to.  But I persisted, very carefully, and it rewarded my care by providing me with a bush full of beautiful, full, magenta blooms that graced me with their presence for a couple weeks. I was very careful not to over clip as there is a reciprocity in also enjoying the blooms where they blossom and not taking more than what nature permits.  My kitchen smelled lovely for a couple weeks while a selection from four blossoming bushes graced my table.

As the lilacs have mostly dropped the curtain on their act, the play is far from over as the peonies are holding tight inside their buds in wait of their turn to take stage.  I spent some time clearing this area out this year too and it's looking to be grateful as well.  These always look and smell so amazing and are one of the plants that I usually only bring one or two blossoms inside from.  Somehow I look upon them in all their blossoming beauty and feel guilty for taking away from their show.


There is an area covered with poppies that will pop out of their fuzzy little pods and take on their orange, tissue papery brilliance most likely by the end of the week.  My children seem to love these the most.  


The last that I noticed on my walk around this evening was the All-Spice, which I wasn't really sure what it was until today, only that it smelled amazing and also required a ton of time as some pretty heavily creeping mile-a-minute tried to suffocate it last year.  It's also in the middle of its' bloom.


In a week or two I will have the Mock-Orange bushes which are right outside of my kitchen window. They make washing dishes a total joy when they're blooming.

I've been here for 8 years now and can't believe how fast this time has gone by.  Conversely, it's sometimes embarrassing that it's taken me this long to finally start caring for it like my grandmother and father did.  Granted, I have a fairly busy life, but one always has choices in what keeps them busy.  And tending to the earth will give you lessons in many things if you allow it.





01 May 2017

Boundaries


Clearly my wisteria isn't very good with boundaries, but she sure has a lovely way of being untamed. I guess once the curtain closes on her springtime act, I'll at least pull her out of the areas that she really shouldn't be, but for now I'm enjoying the show.

I've found that nature has a way of showing me what I need to work on in my own life.  The metaphors are there on a daily basis, and it sometimes takes a while for me to get the message.  In terms of this lovely plant, the lessons it has been teaching me are endless, but at the moment it's heavy on the boundaries and taming the part of me that ignores the ones that I consistently attempt to put up for myself.

Perhaps I need to work harder at not looking at my boundaries as something that I need to make out of an impenetrable material, but more so a material that is flexible in its' firmness.  Something that can bend on occasion.  Something that can allow things in while blocking others.

Much like the wisteria which can be an absolutely gorgeous and perfectly tamed creature if you give it the proper attention in the proper areas.  On the contrary, if you don't, she will eat your house.

Much like life.



About Me

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30something mother of twin boys. lover of nature. steward of the earth. artist in heart. always creating, always learning. always growing. understanding sometimes to a fault. the grass is always greener where i'm standing.