31 December 2016


The process of finding my word for 2017 has not been a tough one.  Last year I went through Susannah Conways' Find Your Word Course and it brought me to my word for 2016, which was Movement. This year, I came to my word rather easily, as it was thrust in my presence continuously over the past few weeks.  I've read it in blog posts and articles, I've heard it uttered in multiple podcasts, and the word has been spoken by friends in conversation.  The first time it hit me, I knew it would be my guiding word for 2017.


I've been true to my words the past few years.  Allowing them to guide me, and repeating them in my head every time I needed to remind myself to focus.  Movement got me up off my ass on the occasions during 2016 where I felt the laziness settle in.  Movement has helped me to unclutter areas of my physical and mental space.  Movement helped me change habits and it was the first thing I did January 1st when I woke up after smashing out my last cigarette the night before, and went for a hike with my dog.  Movement took me across the country where I watched the sun set over the Pacific Ocean on Cannon Beach in Oregon.  Movement has seen me lose 20 lbs during the course of the year and will undoubtedly see 20 more in the coming months.  And just as Presence helped me to pay attention and focus on what is in front of me not only in 2015 but this year also, I'm sure they both will continue to follow me through 2017 as I Embody all of the things that I hold close in belief.

I will Embody the healthy lifestyle I began by quitting smoking.  I will Embody the eating habits that nourish and feed not only my physical health but my mental health as well.  I will Embody the rituals and habits that nourish my physical and mental space and help me to focus on the important things which go much further than what I can see and touch in this world I am inhabiting in this lifetime.  I will Embody all the things that will nourish and enrich the lives of my children and those around me, the moments, the experiences that truly matter and make a real difference.

Most importantly, I will Embody all of my hopes and dreams and see to fruition the things that I have been wanting for so long and will no longer allow fear or "busyness" of life to get in the way of accomplishing these things.

The candle burning in the photograph above was a gift.  I received two in a package and had one of my children walk the second one up the hill to my mother so that she, too, could take part in this ritual of burning a Bayberry candle on New Years Eve, to bring abundance and blessings in the coming year.  She immediately called me and asked me if I didn't remember that she used to do this.  When I was gifted a set of these last year, I vaguely felt something when I pulled the candles out of the box, but nothing concrete, and I never thought of it again.  But it's rather appropriate, as I sit here thinking of my intentions for the coming year, and the years after and what I am wishing for as my children continue to grow and mature and find their own ways in this world.

I hope all of you who come upon these writings welcome the year in with Love and Positive Vibrations in your hearts.

26 December 2016

Intent on Intentions

On December 31, at 11:45, I will be one year free of cigarettes.  There was one evening I had one in my hand, back at the beginning of May I believe, but I never lit it and never would consider it.  I think at that point it was nice to know that I could put one in my hand, look at it, (with a lighter in my pocket as I still need something for incense, candles and such) and just know that I was done with it.

There were certainly points of time during the past year that I noticed the space left open by not smoking, but the space was the reward.  The space of not needing to stop what I was doing at any given time to take a break and go smoke.  If you are a 10 cigarette a day smoker, that adds up to 100 minutes or more a day.  And what can one do with 100 minutes in a day?  Granted, there are things that one can do while smoking, but considering I never smoked in my house or around my kids, the act of smoking was always something that required time "away" from whatever I was doing.

As I look at what I have gained from a year away from the habit, the one thing that sticks out over everything else is how well I handle the cold temperatures.  It can be 30 degrees outside and I'm completely fine to take a walk in it.  My circulation has improved drastically.  Last year I could barely keep my toes warm in two pairs of socks.   I don't mind the colder weather.  In fact, as soon as I'm finished writing this post, I'm heading outside to take a walk and move my body.

I now have a five-year plan that I'm working on and the next step I need to take towards this is a break from social media.  I admit that there are things that I love about facebook.  I love that I can easily keep in touch with friends across the country in one space.  I love that people share pieces of their lives and photographs of the places they live and visit, and I love to share those things myself.  But if I'm saving 100 minutes a day by not smoking, I am probably spending more time than that scrolling through my newsfeed multiple times a day.  And for what?

I'm done watching it. For a while at least.

My word for 2016 was Movement.  And it definitely guided me in many ways.  I'm pretty sure that "Embody" is going to be my guiding word for 2017 and I think it goes without saying that practicing what I preach is where I need to begin.  And if you want to find me, this is where I will be when the time allows.  Stay tuned.  Good things to come!

22 December 2016

Post Solstice Ramblings

As the year begins its' journey into becoming the past, I am beginning my own journey, as I always do at this time, further into myself.  The autumn always greets me with an invitation to dive deeper into the metaphorical waters to continue the search for more. 
To search for more.  Because there is always more.
To look at where I need to make changes. Because there is always room for improvement.
To hold space for what the year has given me.  Because there are always gifts, even in a year that has held many challenges and grief-stricken moments for many people.  My 2016 was 2009, but as an empath I feel it all anyway, so there are always moments of holding space for others in my life.

It's not the prospect of a new year, in and of itself, that creates this force in me.  While I do enjoy the idea of a clear, blank page in front of me, it's the whole season itself.  The darkness outside that invites me into my own darkness inside.  The opportunity to confront myself.  The quietness beckons me deeper to the places I tend to avoid during seasons of abundant light. And there is nothing to fear in those shadows.

On the contrary, I feel like it's all in the shadows.  All of it. Everything we miss or are unable to see through the reflections, or from the brightness that blinds us from what is right there, in front of us.  When you turn that light away and start walking into the darkness, your eyes eventually adjust and begin to focus, and with a different perspective.

When the new year rings in this time, I'm planning to take a break from facebook and will be deactivating my account for a while.  While I've had ideas of making a year out of it, I'm going to be realistic in that I may change my mind at some point, for a moment, or altogether.  But I'm starting out and running for at least a month, as an experiment of sorts.  And this blog, this space here, will be my home.  I'm finding that my own words are being drowned out by the constant clutter of a newsfeed that really doesn't feed me in nourishing ways.  Seems to be a good next step in the natural progression of my journey.  I hope you will accompany me at least occasionally.


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40. mother. earth lover. mover. creater.