Overwhelm
"defeat completely"
"give too much of a thing to (someone); inundate"
"have a strong emotional effect on"
"be too strong for; overpower"
It's that moment when you say you have a million things going on, and a million is not an exaggeration.
It's looking at the room full of things that you know you have to sort through, piece by piece, and make decisions on the dozens of options for where they will go. And it's the knowing there is more than just one room.
It's when you sit down to try to work, knowing that it is a good distraction from all the million things going on, but you are unable to fully immerse yourself in it because the million things do not go away just because you are able to set them on a back burner for a moment.
It's getting one minor, simple task completed, feeling like you just climbed a thousand steps.
It's falling asleep in your car while your kids are at football practice instead of knitting or reading because you really are just that exhausted at 5:30pm.
It's having time to work on the million things but not being able to begin any of them because the noise in your head is so overwhelming that you can't shut it all off long enough to pick a place to start.
It's the noise. Any noise, really. If two people talk at once it's too much. If music is playing and someone starts talking over it, it's too much. If a loud motorcycle goes racing past your house while you are hanging laundry, it's too much.
It's all just too much.
I'm aware that it won't always be. But for now, it is.
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