Something To Look Forward To
When I was young, all I could look forward to was turning 16 and being able to get my license. Living out at the very edge of the school district, I spent most of my academic years begging for rides in town to friends houses, because the majority of everyone who lived anywhere else had no interest in driving the whole way out to Pluto.
After that, it was 18. Because being able to (legally) stay out all night without fear of violating a curfew (which may have actually happened) was a huge thing for someone who was a night owl to look forward to.
And of course the excitement of being able to legally drink was on the table for way longer than it should have been. Not that I gave that law any credence either, because I was stubborn and did what I wanted to anyway. It's entirely possible I did more drinking in the years before I turned 21 than in those that followed. But this isn't about my delinquent behavior.....
After 21 I had 25 to look forward to. Since marriage wasn't in the cards at that point, I was looking to 25 to bring my car insurance costs back down to something less than a car payment. And only a few years after that I gave birth to my boys.
So for the first two plus decades of my life there was some big event to look forward to. For me, after my kids, the only big events were grievous ones that weren't really full of excitement in a fun sense. Those grief filled years certainly kept me learning and discovering things, but there were many things that kept me from the kind of learning and discovering that I truly wanted to be doing, which can only be found on the open road.
To get to my point, I decided to plan a trip. I started planning it after a week at the beach last summer with my kids. It had been a few years since we'd had a real vacation of any sort, and I realized how much having that trip to look forward to kept me feeling motivated. When you go for months and months, just going to work, coming home, doing the dishes, hanging the laundry, taking the kids to their events and yelling at them to do their homework and go to bed, and not creating excitement in your life, it begins to drain your joy.
Having something to look forward to doesn't have to be a big trip. It can be a planned weekend somewhere within a couple hours of your home if you don't have the means to go big. But this is how we, as working adults, need to carve out excitement for ourselves. Most people aren't totally content with their working lives, at least not so much that they don't need periods of escape from it. It seems to be quite the opposite these days, actually, with most people working harder than ever without the time or financial means to actually make these escapes for themselves. Is this the American dream? After your mid twenties, it's a life of slaving away to keep the machine well oiled until you retire, which isn't quite attainable for most people these days either. And unless you're looking forward to hot flashes, vertigo, brain fog, saggy balls (yes I just said that, because dudes have it rough in aging too), there aren't many big exciting things waiting for us at the impending milestone birthdays.
Back to the point; I planned a trip. It's getting close. And I have spent hours and hours, over the course of weeks and months, looking for the perfect lodging, researching hikes and dining opportunities and more hikes, and a sound bath and stargazing in the desert! Since beginning this process I've seen my motivation hanging out more often. It's showing in my work and my creativity, and in the return on investment for my effort. Having something exciting to look forward to has been nothing short of instrumental in increasing my mood. Movement and healthy eating certainly help too, but that's another discussion for another time. Right now, I'm already somewhere on the west coast hiking in the desert. I'll send you a postcard!
After that, it was 18. Because being able to (legally) stay out all night without fear of violating a curfew (which may have actually happened) was a huge thing for someone who was a night owl to look forward to.
And of course the excitement of being able to legally drink was on the table for way longer than it should have been. Not that I gave that law any credence either, because I was stubborn and did what I wanted to anyway. It's entirely possible I did more drinking in the years before I turned 21 than in those that followed. But this isn't about my delinquent behavior.....
After 21 I had 25 to look forward to. Since marriage wasn't in the cards at that point, I was looking to 25 to bring my car insurance costs back down to something less than a car payment. And only a few years after that I gave birth to my boys.
So for the first two plus decades of my life there was some big event to look forward to. For me, after my kids, the only big events were grievous ones that weren't really full of excitement in a fun sense. Those grief filled years certainly kept me learning and discovering things, but there were many things that kept me from the kind of learning and discovering that I truly wanted to be doing, which can only be found on the open road.
To get to my point, I decided to plan a trip. I started planning it after a week at the beach last summer with my kids. It had been a few years since we'd had a real vacation of any sort, and I realized how much having that trip to look forward to kept me feeling motivated. When you go for months and months, just going to work, coming home, doing the dishes, hanging the laundry, taking the kids to their events and yelling at them to do their homework and go to bed, and not creating excitement in your life, it begins to drain your joy.
Having something to look forward to doesn't have to be a big trip. It can be a planned weekend somewhere within a couple hours of your home if you don't have the means to go big. But this is how we, as working adults, need to carve out excitement for ourselves. Most people aren't totally content with their working lives, at least not so much that they don't need periods of escape from it. It seems to be quite the opposite these days, actually, with most people working harder than ever without the time or financial means to actually make these escapes for themselves. Is this the American dream? After your mid twenties, it's a life of slaving away to keep the machine well oiled until you retire, which isn't quite attainable for most people these days either. And unless you're looking forward to hot flashes, vertigo, brain fog, saggy balls (yes I just said that, because dudes have it rough in aging too), there aren't many big exciting things waiting for us at the impending milestone birthdays.
Back to the point; I planned a trip. It's getting close. And I have spent hours and hours, over the course of weeks and months, looking for the perfect lodging, researching hikes and dining opportunities and more hikes, and a sound bath and stargazing in the desert! Since beginning this process I've seen my motivation hanging out more often. It's showing in my work and my creativity, and in the return on investment for my effort. Having something exciting to look forward to has been nothing short of instrumental in increasing my mood. Movement and healthy eating certainly help too, but that's another discussion for another time. Right now, I'm already somewhere on the west coast hiking in the desert. I'll send you a postcard!
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