11 May 2016

Draining the Well

Life is a series of journeys.  I will turn 40 this October and have been on many already, navigating path after path full of twists and turns. To say it's been a constant challenge would be an understatement.  But that's what life is, isn't it?  One challenge after another.  They aren't all hard and tough challenges, but every part of my journey has called for me to muster up even more strength to move towards the next part.  And strength requires effort.

The past decade has provided some of the toughest lessons and I feel like it has been the most intense in a spiritual sense.  I've gone through some of the deepest soul searching imaginable.  I've questioned everything from why am I here to does God really exist, and if he does in what form?  I've prayed, I've meditated, I've screamed begging for answers and I've sat in silence yearning for them.  I've had soul-filling epiphanies and I've had moments where I've been left more confused than I was before I started questioning.  I've dove into wisdom from countless belief systems and have become comfortable adopting aspects of quite a number of them without feeling the need to label myself as any one in particular.  I've developed a deep understanding and appreciation for all forms of spirituality and for the soul that resides in this body.

I have searched the depths of myself and have discovered pieces that I have been looking for for years. I've searched, and searched, and searched. And I continued to search.

And search some more.

And I think I am ready for a break.

I feel like all that searching and discovering and learning has left me tired, exhausted and ultimately drained.  I have gained an unimaginable amount of wisdom and I am ready for a break from the need for more.

With social media providing us a constant stream of input, unless you purposefully seek it out there really is no "quiet" time for the mind. You can remove yourself from all electronic devices, media, televisions, radio, etc., and still be harassed with input from billboards, signs, flyers and other various forms of physical advertisement that is nearly impossible to avoid.  Even the articles that you resonate with, the bits of wisdom that you agree with and enjoy reading can become redundant and overwhelming when there is no break from it.  I think the key to avoiding the overwhelm is ensuring that you are emptying yourself of as much as you are being filled. If you are not releasing all that input, where does everything else have to go?  Stress, overwhelm and frustration come from not providing ourselves with enough space.  When you release, let go and open up space, then the energy has room to flow.  One can spend their entire life searching for answers that are already right there.  But if you don't create space for them, where will they go?

The time has come to open the drain and let the output begin.  To take a break from all things analytical and just be, create, and watch.  I've wondered for a while now what this decade will bring me in terms of discovery.  I'm leaving the self discovery to all those who are still asking questions and still searching and am embarking on a physical journey. One where I seek to experience without the need for analyzing. One where there is no judgment. A journey of exchange between me and the earth. One that can not be explained in words but can only be felt by walking the trails, swimming in its' waters and standing on its' edges.

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40. mother. earth lover. mover. creater.